Journal Entry: May 02

[wright_idea]

Okay, calm now.

Been doing a bit of soul-searching, actually. I looked up the word "neutrality" today. I mean, I knew what it meant, more or less, but I felt like it would help somehow looking at it. In a way, it did.

The Sanctuary... all matter of people go in and out. Heroes, villains... and yet somehow they coexist, because they simply leave their actions behind them when they come. It is, generally, meant to be a peaceful place, even though there are conflicts at times. That's the spirit of the place, anyway.

Some... he's done a lot of good things for me. He let me borrow his cave when I didn't want to stay in the Sanctuary, has cooked so much good food for us. Every instinct in me tells me he's a good guy, and yet I still panicked when I found out what he'd done while LOLed. He doesn't deserve that. And, well, Kaa and Li are right: I can't judge him by the standards of humans, because he isn't. He's a Grue. And I'm positive that if he didn't have to do what he does to survive, he wouldn't. It's said that humans are the only ones who kill for no reason. I'm not sure how true that is, but I'd take Some, maneating and all, over Gant and his inhuman disregard for life any day.

So Some, if you can read this... I'm sorry. I really am.

--

On another note, I can't decide whether my alternate drives me nuts or fascinates me. There's something interesting about being given the opportunity to bitchslap sense into MYSELF. And I think history is already irreversibly altered for the two of them; Naruhodo is finding out things about Mitsurugi far earlier than I ever did. Still, it's kind of weird.

Comments

[cutslikeasword.livejournal.com]

It should not be a surprise: after all, we come from a world where mythological creatures and other lore do not exist, where the only "monsters" are those who take the life of another.

One should not be judged on their actions alone, unless there is something truly questionable. If it is for survival, and not selfish gain, then it is not possible to consider what something that isn't human can do, since you are rather biased there. As for Gant, do not get me started on him...

I'm rather worried about Mitsurugi.

[wright-idea.livejournal.com]

True enough. The Nexus is very mind-expanding in that sense. I don't think I can really look at our world the same way anymore, honestly.

I know one thing for certain: Some was absolutely horrified when he realized he'd done something he shouldn't. That look in and of itself should've convinced me he was a good person underneath it all, but I panicked instead. I hoe he's all right.

You're... worried? I know Naruhodo's been coming on rather strong, but...

[cutslikeasword.livejournal.com]

Experience prevents that from happening, otherwise nothing would be learned.

Not too sure on what happened exactly, but it sounds like a natural reaction to being caught in an unexpected situation. I'm sure he is fine.

...

No, it has nothing to do with Naruhodo. Not directly. I find myself wondering about his mentor.

[wright-idea.livejournal.com]

I hope so. I really hope so.

...oh Christ. "Oto-sama." Penny for your thoughts?

[cutslikeasword.livejournal.com]

Perhaps I am simply fascinated in the unknown. I only know of von Karma as who he was with me growing up. I cannot picture him.. Japanese. It is doubtful that his personality could change that much, but I certainly wasn't allowed to call him 'father'. And yet Mitsurugi refers to his as such, although it sounds like a respectful term.

Either way, I know his tolerance for certain situations is rather low.

[wright-idea.livejournal.com]

You're suggesting that if "oto-sama" finds out Mitsurugi is...

Ho boy. We'd better keep an eye out on the both of them.

[cutslikeasword.livejournal.com]

Considering how strict he was with me, and how I was forbidden from any 'distractions' that would conflict with the pursuit of my profession.. yes, I agree.

[gabriel-grey.livejournal.com]

Have you seen Some? He's missed work and classes at PrIME for the last two days. I'm worried.

[wright-idea.livejournal.com]

He has?

Oh geez. No, not since that day. I hope he's all right. He's probably taking this really hard.

[gabriel-grey.livejournal.com]

He was, and I'm sure he still is. I hope wherever he is, he's safe.

*worryfretfretworry*

[azurelightning.livejournal.com]

A place with that kind of neutrality would be honestly a relief back home. I'm not sure what exactly happened, or if I want to know the full story. But, humans can be pretty damn despicable when it comes down to things.

As for... alternative - god, I'm not sure if I could do anything BUT throttle my younger self if I were to meet him.

[wright-idea.livejournal.com]

I don't think it would do much good to get into the details if you're not closely affiliated with Some. Let's just say he's done something regrettable while not in his own mind, and I'm hoping he's okay.

Heh, it's been tempting. Believe me.

[azurelightning.livejournal.com]

I think I may give McDohl permission to punch my younger self. Because Shield knows I've been making an ass of myself in his time.

[souka-naruhodo.livejournal.com]

Hey, why are you telling people you want to "throttle" me!? >

[wright-idea.livejournal.com]

I didn't say "throttle," I said "bitchslap." And, well, it has less to do with you and more to do with me, seeing myself several years ago. I mean, haven't you ever done something you wish you could go back and say, "Augh, you idiot, why did you do that?" Yeah.

[souka-naruhodo.livejournal.com]

I guess so.... but...

...do you guys really think I'm that annoying...?

[wright-idea.livejournal.com]

*sigh* Look, it's just... you need to be a little less impulsive, is all. Learn to read other peoples' reactions. You're going to need this ability when you become a lawyer. And, well, there's also the fact that you're relentlessly positive, which can get to people sometimes. It's not a bad thing at all, it's just that a lot of people, especially in the Sanctuary, are considerably more jaded.

Don't worry about what I think too much. It's probably just alternate friction speaking. Seems to be common in the Nexus.

[souka-naruhodo.livejournal.com]

That's a really long way of saying "yes", huh.

[wright-idea.livejournal.com]

It's called "constructive criticism." You can use it as you please.

If it makes you feel any better, other people seem to think you're adorable.

[karuma-reiji.livejournal.com]

...

Stay away from Naruhodo-san. I will not mention it again.

[wright-idea.livejournal.com]

Wh... what?

[souka-naruhodo.livejournal.com]

http://souka-naruhodo.livejournal.com/790.html