wright_idea | Journal Entry: May 01

Journal Entry: May 01

Damnit...

Why can't Some just be a normal friend, instead of a friend in the Sanctuary and a maneater outside?

Why the hell did Gant have to show up and shoot my ability to be neutral in the Sanctuary to pieces?

Nexus, what the hell do you think you're doing?!

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*a familiar serpentine symbol appears before the message shows up*

It... seems to be doing the best it can to turn one's life upside down, inside out and make you question your very sanity.

Georik... I... I don't know what to think anymore. My allies are murderers, my enemies are protected by the law of Sanctuary... nothing's making sense tonight...

...Sometimes, one must seek the aid of devils to achieve the best results, and I do mean this metaphorically.

Phoenix, I... the sanctuary does have a purpose, aggravating as it is. Even if it seems maddening enough selective.

I presume all one can do now is trust one's instincts.

... I... suppose so. But it's one of those days where I wonder if my being in the Nexus is altering my ability to see right and wrong further than I should allow it... ...Just give me some time to calm down. I'll be fine.

It does make you think, and it's never comfortable. When even gods and demons can hold polite tea parties, it makes everything so confused.

I think I liked it better when I was the guy finding the real murderers for the sake of the innocent.

...

Now I'm really staying away from the Sanctuary.

Some is a maneater in the first place. He needs to eat humans to survive. He is also your friend.

...I know, Kaa. I'm sorry, I guess I just sort of panicked when I realized he was the one that had bitten Zappa in his LOLed state. Li's managed to help me see some perspective, at least, though I'm still going to have to try and readjust to the fact that Some isn't human.

It's... hard for me sometimes to remember to alter my ethics for the sake of the Nexus sometimes, though. I hope you understand...

Phoenix, I eat people. I only eat people, I would not eat a non-sentient. I have eaten people all my life.

Some would not just bite someone out of the blue unless he'd been starved or something is wrong. The fact it is in his nature to eat certain people does not mean he will constantly try to.

...I know. I'm sorry. It's... not something that happens back home, at least not where I live. And as someone who's seen the sort of consequences the premature loss of a life causes...

...when Some returns, I'm going to have to apologize. I think I made things worse, to be honest. I guess I'm just as silly and flighty as my alternate sometimes.

You were shocked, I'll grant you that, but from what you said up there it sounds like you're calling him duplicitous.

It's not so much that. Some's a very honest guy. I've known for a while he eats people. It's just that this is the first time I've been forced to really be confronted with the fact. It'd... it'd be easier for me if he didn't have to do it. I know it's a survival thing, but...

Try to understand. Where I come from, the popular belief is that humans are basically at the top of the food chain. It's very disorienting to have it established as being otherwise, I'm afraid.

And none where I come from view it as some sort of heirarchy. Pardon me, but you can see yourself how wrong and destructive that belief is.

...

I could go on at length here, angrily, but you don't deserve it.

...sorry Kaa.

You can't help it, Phoenix. I'm sorry.

You've been confronted by Some's darker nature, then?

I can't expect you to feel obliged to adopt a stance of moral relativism, considering your job. It bothers me that he must eat intelligent beings to survive, but I realized in time that it is easier to just accept the humanity in him and let him deal with whatever consequences may result from his monstrous habits.

Yeah, I suppose you're right, Otto. The Nexus is quickly becoming a learning curve on that front for me. I should be more grateful; he's been a good friend.

Um, did you know this Augie guy?

I try to give Some the benefit of the doubt; I heckled him for a long time about his man-eating habits, but this place should be a Sanctuary for everyone if they desire to live peacefully and accept one another despite their differences.

"Augie".... he's one of my alternates, a heavily-modified cyborg. He hangs around with Some, but spends most of his time hunting and killing monsters to satisfy his inner demons.

True enough... and I guess if Gant decides he wants to be a regular, I can just retreat to my apartment for a bit. Though I shouldn't HAVE to... *sigh*

...I'm afraid you're not going to see him again, Otto.

Gant... someone you've had to deal with in the past? If he's putting you in danger, Phoenix, hiding won't solve the problem.

You're saying that Augustus is dead, aren't you.

Gant, unfortunately, has decided to pop up in the Sanctuary. I can't imagine he's horribly fond of me, but he was having a grand old time antagonizing a friend of mine. Better yet, he's apparently got a goddamn gun now. Unloaded, but in the Nexus? I can't imagine ammo is hard to find. Makes me nervous.

...yeah. I'm sorry, Otto.

Wear the armor I gave you, and if he looks like he wants a fight, get out of there or get a bullet-proof friend on him... for your safety, and your friend's. Even if you were a sharpshooter, gun fights always seem to result in unwanted collateral damage.

It's not like guns or elemental Weapons of The Universe aren't easy to get around here, and you can just as easily murder someone with your bare hands if you're that determined to, but a gun makes murdering people a lot easier.

I won't ask for details at this time, as I imagine it's still under investigation. Thank you for letting me know, all the same.

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Journal Entry: May 01

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